Change is a Process of Transformation
Change, wow, it’s a big topic, especially since over this past year we have all had a lot of changes in our lives. Some have been forced on us or happened unexpectedly and some have been directed and chosen by ourselves. Either way change has a way of making us feel uncomfortable, it actually has a way of making us feel many different emotions but uncomfortable is definitely there. Even when the change has come about from our own decisions and choices it can feel scary and bring up feelings of anxiety. Why is this? Well partly its because we are leaving something behind, we are saying goodbye to what was and saying hello to something new. Change has an element of the unknown in it and that can always be scary if we don’t know what is ahead of us.
As human beings we go through many different changes in our lives that can alter us mind, body and soul. Change is a process of transformation, a series of steps to achieve something different, and we look for something different when we are not content with what we have. I have had many different changes in my life some good and some bad but when I’ve looked back on all those changes, I’ve learnt something from each of them that has helped me in my future. When I was 27 I went traveling the world by myself, it was scary because there were a lot of unknowns. When I got to New Zealand everybody was talking about doing a skydive and while this may seem cool or just something people do when they go traveling, for me it was massive because I am terrified of heights!
I kept saying “Nope.”, “I’m not doing it.”, “Theres no way I could do that.”, “Ain’t happening.”. I was really fighting against the idea that I could be the type of person that could jump out of a plane, it would change me and I wanted to stay in my nice, safe comfort zone. But something deep in my soul was telling me “You have to do this.”, “You can do this!”, “This is going to change you for the better.”. So, I booked it, spent the next few days in complete denial that it was happening, not going to lie I was in complete denial even when I was in the plane and the door opened! It was the most amazing experience though, not just because of the views and the feeling, but because it taught me something very valuable. That I can do “it”! I can do the things that make me uncomfortable, I can get through the fear and anxiety, I can push myself beyond my comfort zone, I can accomplish change in my life. And you know what, it felt really good to push beyond what I thought I could accomplish and realise I can accomplish way more than I ever expected.
I’ve had a lot of changes over the last 3 years including family illness, leaving a job I loved, taking on caring responsibilities in my late 20’s early 30’s. It’s been tough, there have been low points, there have been changes that have stretched me. But you know what helped me change my viewpoint? Thinking back to that time I travelled by myself and faced my fear. It reminds me that I have the ability to make change happen for myself and that I can accomplish more than I think I can. This last year and a half, when the world was making so many unexpected changes to our lives, I decided to take control and make some changes that I knew would benefit me. I went to counselling, I spoke to a life coach and did a personal development programme for women. I invested in myself and my wellbeing and now I’ve started my own personal development business. And anytime I’ve thought about giving up on my business because it feels too much, too big for me to take on, I remind myself that I jumped out of a plane once, and I can face a lot more than I think I can.
So how do we make positive changes happen in our lives and embrace the change that isn’t always welcome?
We step outside our comfort zones (those nice cosy places we like to hide), I know it’s nice and feels safe and can be a comfort when we are hurt or feeling vulnerable, but it can turn into a prison that keeps us from fulfilling our dreams and the people we are meant to be. We have to communicate with ourselves by taking the time to journal, write your feelings, emotions, thoughts down and clear them out to give you headspace. Communicate feelings, thoughts and dreams to someone who will listen; not try and fix them for you or tell you what to do but just listen. Talking to a mentor, counsellor, life coach, youth worker, metal health worker is beneficial, they know how to actively listen and provide a safe space. Get involved in personal development programmes and processes, they will help you reconnect to your values, identity and skills in order to make the changes you want or need to. Try, just try, something new, take chances, do something that makes you move forward, even if it’s a small step. Accept the truth about failure… it’s growth, it’s learning, it’s maturing. Yes, it’s difficult not meeting your own or others expectations but we aren’t here to please everybody, we’re here to do the best we can do.
There are many different paths in life and some we stand at doubting if we’ll make it through, but with the right people supporting us, a willingness to try, an openness to accept the changes along the way and a little bit of faith you can have a life that is full of purpose and fulfils your own definition of success.