Starting Something New: Finding Purpose and Accepting the Changes

This is my first ever blog post and I have to say I’m pretty nervous writing it. There’s something about writing that can be cathartic, but writing down your thoughts, opinions and knowing that other people will be reading them, suddenly feels very vulnerable! 

However, like with all things we learn when we step outside our comfort zones, we gain new perspective and insight. Of course, we also panic, feel stretched, want to go running back to the safety of what we know. I know this very well because I’ve pushed myself out of my comfort zone many times. It never gets easier but I now know that every time I have, I end up having a brilliant adventure and feeling more positive about the future. 

I was thinking what story from my life should I share with you to show how pushing beyond our comfort zones can help us develop? I could tell you about when I was 27 how I ended up skydiving, bungee jumping and getting pushed off a canyon swing 300 (the movie) style, all with in a two week period despite having a fear of heights. But I’ll maybe save that for another time. 

What I am going to share with you is how I got started in my career. 

You’ve obviously found me here on my website and have been able to find out a little about me and the work I’ve been doing for some time now. But how did I get into youth work and personal development? Well, it started back when I volunteered on a summer scheme for my church. We had to be up at 6am to help with the day’s preparations for the younger children and then in the evenings we’d run a youth programme for the teenagers. It was full on but I loved it all, I remember thinking if only this was an actual job... turned out it was! 

My final year of school doing my A-Levels was one of the most stressful times. See I had no idea why I picked the A-Level subjects I did. I had no idea what I wanted to be or do in the world and the only support school provided me with was a search engine to look up potential careers (try searching for a career that you don’t know exists, tricky, some would say impossible) and one meeting with the career’s councillor. That was fun, I was asked the obligatory “what job do you want to do?” question, and so that I didn’t feel inadequate because I had no idea, I made up a couple answers, a vet, something to do with computers, a psychologist. So, on results day when I didn’t get the grades, I was met with the career councillors panicked expression and another question “What are you going to do?!”. 

Looking back, I’m always amused when I think of that career councillors face and his panicked expression because after all he was meant to be the one supporting me.

It was as if he couldn’t imagine a world that didn’t run the way he believed - go to school - get good grades - go to University - get job - live happily ever after.  

Well, I enjoyed my summer, I got a job in retail and my mum found an ad in the newspaper or a Youth and Community programme where I could get my basic qualifications for being a youth worker. It was a step in the right direction not only to get qualifications but because it challenged me, it pushed me out of my comfort zone and helped me feel less shy.  

I’ve had failures through my career, I’ve had times when I’ve wanted the ground to swallow me up, felt defeated but I’ve always learnt from them and tried again. 

For instance, I didn’t get on to the Community Youth Work Degree first time and so I went and did a certificate until I could apply again. The second time I was more prepared, I had more experience and knew what I was talking about, I got in. I started working part time in a youth project, in an area of Belfast I knew little about. I ended up being there for 10 years; leading groups of young people on personal development programmes, one to one mentoring, running a drop-in centre, speaking in front of classes in schools, training young people, volunteers and staff, we even lead an international team.  

So, when I think back to the career councillor and his panicked question “What are you going to do?!”.

I can now answer it with this... a lot! I’m going to have the most amazing journey; I’m going to see the world, meet new people, experience different cultures, I’m going to face my fears, I’m going to work with amazing young people, I’m going to help others reach their goals, I’m going to earn money doing something I love and I’m not going to let others be told they haven’t got a bright future or be forced to stay in a job that doesn’t bring them fulfilment because we are told to fit in to the “norm”. 

I left school doubting I was capable of achieving anything because the majority of people were going one way and I was going another.

There are many different paths in life and some we stand at doubting if we’ll make it through, but with the right people supporting us, a willingness to try, an openness to accept the changes along the way and a little bit of faith you can have a life that is full of purpose and fulfils your own definition of success.